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Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Someone tried to ruin my life...and maybe succeeded

I have no words.
Yesterday early afternoon I discovered something which could change my future forever, even if I hope that it won't really happen, I feel so bad since yesterday, I didn't sleep, I didn't eat, I even felt sick into the bathroom for what I read.

My boyfriend's family found very bad entries in my Italian blog and thought the worst possible things about me, obviously.

I admit that during the past autumn and winter I expressed doubts about my future near them, but simply because I know that we're quite different and I had the fear to ruin everything with my boyfriend because of it. I admit it, but I've never even thought such bad things, neither about my worst enemy!!
Fortunately my boyfriend, after a total day of silence from him and his family, sent me some examples of what he read with his family in some old entries of my Italian blog and, when I started with the first page, I immediately realized that not all the sentences came from myself, someone had surely access to my account and added a lot of hate.
I'm not able to vomit that kind of insults to anyone and lately I was also happier and happier to move, because I felt better with my future parents-in-law and thinking about my new life in Piedmont (I guess you too read this changement in my latest posts)!

Today I hope to have the chance to talk directly to my boyfriend and to his family, to tell them all the truth. I don't want to see 4+ years ruined because of someone else's mental disorder, I didn't write all that cr*p.

I want to move and go on, starting again my life with my boyfriend and mixing with his family, but I don't know if it'll be really possible, I hope they'll believe me and will give me a opportunity.
My boyfriend suggested me to leave for Belgium in any case, then we'll decide what to do with our relationship, but obviously I couldn't imagine to travel in this situation (I'm so sorry, Isolde).
I feel so bad now, please God listen to me!!


sollie said...

Ooooh Desi, poor girl!! You are such a sweet person so they have to admit that you would write rude things about them. I'm so sorry that you won't come to Belgium. If things get solved before that date, you are more than welcome. Maybe it will distract you a bit. Don't give up, sweet friend.
Hugs and love, Isolde

Franny said...

et bien ma dési j'espère sincèrement que tout va s'arranger pour toi
Je pense que toute la famille va se rendre compte que tu es une fille adorable et dissiper ce malentendu
Je pense bien à toi et je t'envoie toutes mes pensées positives pour que tout s'arrange, car tout était vraiment bien parti
je t'embrasse fort fort en espérant avoir vite de TRES belle nouvelles de ta nouvelle vie

Franny said...

merci de ton mot ma copinette j'espère que ça va s'arranger je mettrai un cierge pour toi cette semaine
nous avons des soucis de papiers pour la maison mais nous attendons et sommes confiants donne moi vite de bonnes nouvelles

ninilove said...

celà fesais un moment que je n'était pas passée et je lis des biens tristes nouvelles.
j'éspère que tous va s'arranger.

Niina said...

Wow, this is bad :-( I hope that by now, things are sorted out?

Anyway, I just wanted to pop in to tell you that my dream of living in Finland came true, we have been here since end of September :-)

Hang in there, Desi!